Thursday, August 18, 2011
Ok, so we didnt do too wonderfully at the last Kaurilands; he was a bit spooky and I basically failed to ask for enough forward. But we did everything in both tests.
So onto Andrew Scott for an indoor show jumping lesson next day. Not sure what my problem was but for the first half of the lesson I reverted to hanging on being a really nervous nanna, but we did get through it and towards the end of the lesson all was good again...he jumped VERY well though.
I do still have anxious days, and that is both riding, and driving (as well as in general), but they are considerably less frequent than previously when I could have panic attacks driving at least twice a week.
On to a wee jumping session at home.
Started with an upright with roll back to barrels set at about 95. Came round corner well, plenty of canter, then about two strides out it turned to custard and last stride instead of sitting up and keeping leg on, I badly tilted off came leg, but he decided to go anyway....slow motion with no impulsion....managed to tumble over on rail and down I came, catapaulting into metal jump stand. OUCH....and back very sore....soon forgot that when I thought he was going to stand on reins...up I jumped (double ouch) and grabbed him.
Saarin reconstructed both jumps and off we went again - this time of course remembering to sit up and keep legs on...he jumped fine, and went through the grid with oxer at about a meter which he jumped beautifully.
Saturday, headache all day, bit sore, and purchased a new helmet.
Sunday Cross country play.....BAD BAD idea. Head ache again, and although not fuzzy or giddy, just not entirely 'with it', also feeling a little vulnerable (which results in additional nerves). But carried on anyway. Rode extremely badly....had no reactions.... and coming into one small log he lost focus, I sat like a prune, got very deep and he clambered over from nothing, managing to deposit me on his neck.
If anyone has tried to ride a horse sitting on their neck, you will know it isnt particularly easy. Stupidly when he started trotting off, I turned him, ....should have just pulled up with both reins but brain not exactly in thinking mode since bump on Friday.
Anyway, went splat, knocked out, and now have worsened the back I hurt Friday...now VERY sore, but in addition have probably broken ribs - now that is painful!
However, what I am now having to deal with is being told I should get rid of the horse, not ride him again, or just do dressage.
This is not helping me. The horse actually did nothing wrong...not like he repeatedly bucks me off, or rears or anything nasty.
We've just had a bit of a run.....I should not have jumped him until I was right again.
Although all these people now telling me to get rid of him is NOT helping my confidence, I know he is a very good horse, and we are both capable of doing very well. I had been really looking forward to the season starting, and had hopes and goals. On the one hand all their comments is making me determined to show them what we really are capable of, but their opinions likewise dont much help one to rally confidence and ambition.
So, just a bit of an upsetting time at the moment with my lovely horse.
Meantime, Saarin has been riding him to keep him ticking over.